The War Won with Music from the 60's

Part 2

Panelist: A-tha-lia NHC

The army of Redwall had a new, secret battle plan. Instead of a long, bloody-gorey war lasting several chapters, Max the Warrior hoped to win the war with his new "Spirit of the '60s" cd. The creatures of Redwall knew better than to ask how he was going to use it since there were no electric outlets or cd-players in Mossflower. They also knew better than to ask how and where he got this cd.

Finally, the two armies met at the center of the field. The leaders of both armies shook paws.
"Well, Max, I'm quite interested to see how you plan to win this war," Lord Picklewhack said.
"It should be different, Lord Picklewhack!" replied Max the Warrior. He then pulled out a cd player.
Lord Picklewhack's eyes bulged, "What is that and where did you get it??"
Max smirked, "I got it from a group of woodland creatures that had come from the 21st century! One of them was so kind as to leave this with me so I could play my new 'Spirit of the '60s' cd."
"I think I've seen the commercial for that cd... the music stinks!" pondered Lord Picklewhack outloud.

(Lord Picklewhack liked rap, hip-hop, and other music such as that. He had no regard for rock and roll: new or classic.)

Max the Warrior grinned insanely and hit the play button of the cd player. (The cd player ran on batteries, you see.) He turned the sound up all the way and selected a random song. The song, "Somebody to Love", blared out on the field, scaring up birds and forcing Lord Picklewhack to cover his ears.

The soldiers, however, listened to the lyrics, rather than fight each other. The lyrics went, "don't you want somebody to love?" The soldiers looked at each other with love in their eyes. Mice, hares, otters, and squirrels began embracing each other.

Max the Warrior looked on in horror at the disgrace of his army. He quickly changed the song. This song was "Everybody Get Together" by the Youngbloods.

Now the armies joined arms, swayed back and forth, and had dopey smiles plastered on their faces. Lord Picklewhack was rolling on the ground with his paws over his ears, screaming, "bloody murder!"

Max the Warrior yelped in horror. He must find a song that wasn't lovey-dovey, and FAST! He looked at the back of the cd case and saw the number of the song "War". He quickly fast-forwarded to that song.

As soon as the first refrain began, the armies stopped swaying, and the smiles faded. They thought about the words, "what is it good for?" They began asking each other, "Yeah, what IS this war good for?" The soldiers shook their heads and went back to their homes.

Max the Warrior stood, open mouthed and dejected, next to Lord Picklewhack on the empty field. Max turned off the cd player as Lord Picklewhack uncovered his ears and quivered, "Max, I'm sorry I made fun of your tail! You are truely a brave mouse warrior!"
Max looked down at the badger lord groveling at his feet. "Who said I was a mouse? I'm really a shrew!"
Lord Picklewhack stood up, looking rather confused. "I... I... uhh... I'm sure the narrator called you a mouse... but... uhm..."
"Stupid narrators. They can never get the facts straight!" the mouse--I mean shrew, complained. He then lifted his head to the sky and bellowed (if ever a shrew could bellow), "You're fired, narrator person!!"
Well, that's just fine. I'm getting sick of the lousy pay and benefits around--
"Excuse me, narrator person?" asked Lord Picklewhack, raising his head to the sky, thinking that that's where the narrator is, when actually the narrator is behind that tree, "could you do us one last favor before you leave?"
I suppose so. What do you want?
"Could you end this bad humor-ish fic?"
Oh fine, I'll finish this bad humor-ish fic.

And that was how a war was won with music from the '60s.

[P.S. If someone wants their cd player back, please send $500 to 126 Rockthing, Maine. If not, I'll let Max keep it to play his horrible '60s music.]