Poisonleaf Wolfbane, Cubicle Inspector (Part 2)

Panelist: Poison-leaf Marlfox

P.W.: Welcome once again to (theme music) Poisonleaf Wolfbane, Cubicle Inspector! I, P.W. Marlfox, who is Poisonleaf Wolfbane, Cubicle Inspector, am none other than the Cubicle Inspector who is writing this article, which is by me, who is the Cubicle Inspector, Poisonleaf Wolfbane, who is writing this article, by the name of P.W. Marlfox, which is short for Poisonleaf Wolfbane, the Cubicle Inspector, or just P.W. for short. Today we are going to inspect none other than the cubicle of the Almighty™ Spoonpaw© (®©¥¶£ÿ$*ï³°). Hmm... Looks normal so far... Oh, here's something on the desk. "Top ten reasons why I should be Supreme Ruler of Mossflower":

"Reason #10: I should be Supreme Ruler of Mossflower
Reason #9: Tomatoes are cheesy
Reason #8: Purple is fun
Reason #7: I should be Supreme Ruler of Mossflower
Reason #6: Chickens run weird
Reason #5: Which is hairier, glue or watermelons?
Reason #4: I should be Supreme Ruler of Mossflower
Reason #3: Party hats look funny on bald guys
Reason #2: Pocket lint farms
Reason #1: I should be Supreme Ruler of Mossflower"

Okaaay... Next paper. Ah, here's something else-- "Ways to sadistically kill Poisonleaf--" Heh, let's not read this one... *shudder* Hmm, this is interesting:

"Excuses for not having articles in on time:
I lost it.
The Editor lost it.
I was hungry.
Athalia used it for a coffee filter.
It got run over by a steam-roller.
It fell in a river and was stolen by a fish headed for Southsward.
A jealous co-worker copied it so I, being ethical and hard-working, wrote another one, which somebeast else copied.
I wrote it, but it was just too good to hand in. Now it hangs on my wall at home.
It made a nice hat.
My pencil broke when I threw it really hard. Cheap office surplus.
My pencil broke when I sat on it. Cheap office surplus.
My pencil broke when I stepped on it. Cheap office surplus. Also a bandaged footpaw.
My pencil broke when a co-worker *cough!* *Poisonleaf!* *cough!* borrowed it to use as a lever to get into a cluttered cubicle. Cheap office surplus. And an unintelligent co-worker. *cough!*
I ran out of paper.
The paper ran away.
A co-worker stole the paper.
A co-worker stole the paper and my pencil.
A co-worker stole the paper and my lucky pencil.
A co-worker stole the paper and my lucky pencil and my favorite rubber ducky that I play with when nobeast is looking.
Disregard the previous excuse.
Vermin kidnapped me because they were jealous of my writing ability. I managed to kill them all and get away but sadly did not have time after my long and tragic trek back to my beloved cubicle to write my article.
I forgot."

Uh oh! Somebeast is coming! I better hide... *climbs into cabinet and shuts door* I hear footsteps... It must be Spoonpaw. Hey, what's he doing! He locked me up in the cabinet! Hey! You can't do this to me! I'm a citizen! I have my rights! I'll tell the Editor!! Let me out! Pleeeeeeeeze let me out?? Pretty please with mustard on top????????? Let me out now!! Open this door or throw me a magazine! I'll call my lawyer once he gets out of law school!