RW TV could be worse

Panelist: A-tha-lia NHC

Ok, so Nelvana has been taking alot of heat for their version of the Redwall TV show.
Did you ever stop and think that it could be worse? Here are some versions that
(thankfully) never made the cut:

-Who Wants To Own the Sword of Martin? (A game show)
Contestants would answer various dumb questions and each correct answer would
move them up a series of levels. The first question is worth a table spoon. Each
correctly answered question after that moves through various types of spoons,
forks, knives, and daggers, until you reach the final question. If you answer the
final question correctly, you win an almost-exact replica of Martin the Warrior's
sword. Unfortunatly, the replicas were so expensive to make and give out to the
winners, that they didn't have enough money to film the show.

-The Young and the Sconeless (A soap opera)
This version focused on several main couples: Martin and Rose, Matthias and
Cornflower, Urgan Nagru and Silvamord... just to name a few. However, the writing
was so cheesy (Cornflower: "Matthias, I thought you loved me, but you only
wanted me for my scones!?" Matthias: "I couldn't help it! It's not my fault that
you're young and I'm sconeless!") , the director and actors quit.

-KSI: Kitchen Scene Investagation (A murder-mystery show)
Whenever somebeast was killed in Redwall Abbey's kitchens, it was up to the
team of hares at KSI to solve the mystery. Unfortunatly, during production,
the actors were too busy eating the props that the director quit after 5000 takes
of the opening sequence ("Whoooo are you? Wot wot? Wot wot?").

-Cluny (A show to brainwash kids under the age of 6)
Two words: Evil Barney.

*metal-sounding version of the Barney theme song plays*

"Cluny was a sea rat,
Wo planned to take over Redwall.
Now he's back in a body-cast,
After a bell took a great fall!"


As I hope you can see, today's Redwall TV show could have been alot worse.
Don't take it for granted: "Cluny" may still be in the works for next year.