Redwall Chatroom Part I

Panelist: Grey-streak the Blade a.k.a. Squirrely Ruler of the Universe

PROLOGUE THING

It was a normal day in Mossflower. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and rabid dogs were eating cake. Yes, all was well.....until a great shadow came over the land. The weather-reading folks at Redwall Abbey said “Oh yeah, that’s just some hail, it’ll pass soon.”
But they were horribly wrong. This great shadow was a phenomenon that no one had heard of before. But they did know one thing: whatever it went over, it upgraded that area’s technological field. Meaning it gave them technology like ours; 21st century technology.
This time, it went over Mossflower, and it granted them a potential weapon of mass destruction....a plague that can wipe out entire civilazations, while still being enjoyable.
This object was a computer.
But not just any computer. This was a computer that had a chatroom system installed on it. This let anyone in Mossflower communicate on the program. The woodlanders and vermin were mystified by this at first, but soon grasped the concept of chatting. They all created screen names, and learned to type with their paws. They weren’t exactly speed demons, but what the hey.
Here’s an excerpt from the records of Methuselah’s Chat Log. This was the first time the folks at Redwall were able to chat. Do not be alarmed at what you read next.

Author’s Note: If you see spelling or grammatical mistakes, they’re intentional, because when you’re in a chatroom you don’t give a rats back end about spelling or grammar.

START RECORDING


~~Chatroom Name: ReDwALL RoOM~~

Users Occupying Room: SwordSwinger, iamcornflower, Abbeyruler, and SpyFox

SwordSwinger: HAHA!!! I’M A WARRIOR!!! I OWNZ j00!!!

Abbeyruler: not me i’m the abbot

iamcornflower: Oh shut up Matthias. Your ego’s showing.

SwordSwinger: Shows what you know! I’m wearing my habit!

SpyFox: I’m surrounded by idiots.

Abbeyruler: SHUT UP I’M THE ABBOT I TELL YOU WHAT TO DO

iamcornflower: What’s with the Caps Lock?

Abbeyruler: I KNOW NOT OF WHAT YOU SPEAK OF

SpyFox: Ok, lookat you’re keyboard.....

Abbeyruler: OK.....

SpyFox: Move you’re eyes to the left.....

Abbeyruler: I SEE ARROWS

SpyFox: Your other left stoopid!

Abbeyruler: OK I SEE A KEY THAT SAYS CAPS LOCK

SpyFox: Press it!

SwordSwinger: Press it!

iamcornflower: Press it!

Abbeyruler: hjdfkaslhfjal Yay it worked

SpyFox: Great....ACK! I HELPED A WOODLANDER!!! I’M A DISGRACE!!!!

SwordSwinger: HAA HA!!!

~~ScoFFHare65 has entered Room #ReDwALL RoOM~~

ScoFFHare65: Hay thare!

SwordSwinger: Learn to spell, <language filter>

SpyFox: Jeez, this chatroom has a language filter? On what words?

Abbeyruler: you folk have such bad language.....

iamcornflower: Oh really? What about when u hit your fifth glass of October Ale at the last Nameday feast?

Abbeyruler:.......er...........

SwordSwinger: hey, i can remember that!

SpyFox: ..............

ScoFFHare65: Me 2!

Abbeyruler: i have no idea of what you’re talking about

iamcornflower: suuuuuree......

SwordSwinger: I say we stone him!!!

iamcornflower: settle down

ScoFFHare65: I like cheeze.

SwordSwinger: .....shut up.

~~Abbeyruler has left the chatroom~~

SwordSwinger: COWARD!!! BWUHAHAHAHA!!!1111

SpyFox: Good, he’s gone>

iamcornflower: hey Sela, what are you doing in this chatroom anyway?

SpyFox: Why wouldn’t I be? In the vermin chatrooms they all ask me for my phone number and stuff and its scary. here I’m with the goody goodies so I’m safe!

SwordSwinger: You’ve sunk pretty low

SpyFox: .....shut up!

ScoFFHare65: Oh <language filter>! I got crumbs on my keyboard!

iamcornflower: you idiot you don’t eat by your keyboard duh!

ScoFFHare65: hoo said?

SwordSwinger: Lurn to spell, <language filter>!

SpyFox: Oh shut up

~~OneEyedBadGuy has entered the chatroom~~

OneEyedBadGuy: Mwuha

SwordSwinger: |: | Cluny, get outta here

OneEyedBadGuy: Neva! I will destroy you all!

iamcornflower: o.O i smell an RPG battle coming on........

ScoFFHare65: Really? What does it smell like?

SpyFox: Where are you getting all this chatroom vocabulary from

SwordSwinger: *takes out sword*

OneEyedBadGuy: *cuts Matthias’s head off*

SwordSwinger: No autos, <language filter>!

OneEyedBadGuy: Whatevr

SwordSwinger: *slashes at cluny’s head*

OneEyedBadGuy: *turns invincible*

SwordSwinger: o.O What are you smoking?

OneEyedBadGuy: *flies away*

~~OneEyedBadGuy has left the chatroom~~

SwordSwinger: what an idiot

iamcornflower: good it’s over

SwordSwinger: Huh?

SpyFox: heh watch this:

SpyFox:

SpyFox:

SpyFox:

SpyFox:

SpyFox:

SpyFox:

iamcornflower: AHHH! YOURE FLOODING!!! STOP!!!

SwordSwinger: Where are you learning these words?

SpyFox:

SpyFox:

SpyFox:

~~SpyFox has been disconnected from chatroom~~

SwordSwinger: HAHA!!!! SHE’S GONE!!!!1111

iamcornflower: ;-; youre so mean.......

Stay tuned for part II of Redwall Chatroom next month!