Life in the car pool lane

Panelist: Spoon-Paw

(A talk show for all you stupid folk)

(Nicky Fake enters stage as theme music roles)

Nicky Fake: Hi, I’m Nicky Fake and welcome to “Life in the car pool lane”.  Today’s subject is, “My father is obsessed about death and is secretly trying to murder me because he thinks I’m evil”.  First up we have Matthias and his son Mattimeo.

(Matthias and Mattimeo enter room, Matthias scowling at everybody and Mattimeo with several tattoos and peircings.  They take sit down three seats away from each other)

Nicky Fake: So why are both of you here?

Matthias: I came here to hire a hit man…why are there so many people here?

Mattimeo: I came here because I thought this was my gang’s vermin meeting…

Nicky Fake: Well you’re both obviously having trouble communicating 

Matthias: Do I have to sign anything?  I’m scared…

(Mattimeo starts blubbering and hugging his father)

Mattimeo: I’M SORRY DADDY!  I LOVE YOU!!!

(Matthias feebly tries to push his son off of him)

Matthias: AHHHH!!! My artery!! 

(The audience goes about “awwww”-ing as Matthias slowly loses consciousness)

Nicky Fake: Well isn’t that adorable, father and son.  Tune in next month when our subject is, “I stick abnormal objects down my pants” where we’ll have special guest Spoon Paw a recovering pants addict to help.