How Hinkle the Dormouse Saved a Hundred Slaves from
Skarliff's Camp

Transcribed (in secret) by P.W. Marlfox

Oh, that one again? Okay, Dibbuns, Uncle Hinkle will
tell you about the time he rescued all of the slaves
at Skarliff's camp: Y'see, it'was night, so I couldn't
see much, but neither could the vermin, so we was
even! Don't laugh, sonny, 'snot polite. *snifff* As I
was saying, it was dark, so I came up to th' campfire,
where I- wotsat, young 'un, how did I get there
without getting caught? Well let me tell ya something-
Uncle Hinkle, eh, didn't always take baths like a
goodbeast should, let's just leave it at that. So I
purty much fit in with th' vermin. Don't ask any more
questions, I'm tryin' t'concertrate. Well as I was
sayin', I went right up to th' fire, I did, when ol'
Skarliff 'imself comes up an' says, just like this,
"'Oo are ye and wot are ye doin' at me camp?" So I
puts me belly up like this- wotsat? No, my belly was
much slimmer then- an' I says, "I'm th' mighty warrior
from Redwall, Hinkle the Warrior! Prepare t'die, sah,
fer keepin' all them poor slaves locked up"- wot
slaves? Why, the slaves I- hey, yore right, plum
fergot 'em. They was over in a cage they was, 'bout a
hunnert of 'em. So I says- wot was that? How did 'e
fit a hunnert slaves in one cage? Maybe it'was a
really big cage, how 'bout that? Why don't you go ask
him, so's I can finish me story in peace?! As I was
sayin', I said, "I'm th' mighty Hinkle the Warrior," I
said, "an' I've come to rescue those poor slaves o'
yourn. Prepare t'meet yer death!" Now don't git
scairt, I didn't 'urt th' poor vermin, jes scairt 'im
a bit. So that Skarliff, 'e takes one look at me an'
my battleaxe- wot battleaxe? Of course I had a
battleaxe, jes fergot t'mention it. Be quiet, young
'un, or there'll be one more tanned hide 'angin'
outside. So this Skarliff, 'e looks at me, ready to
kill 'em, an' 'e takes off a-runnin' fer his life! So
then I goes over t'the slaves, an' I opens the door-
of course I didn't have no key! This door weren't
locked. 'Ow did they keep the slaves in there? Maybe
it'was jes set where it could only be opened from the
outside. Don't ask questions, you'll spoil th'story.
So then I lets the slaves out an' sets 'em free, an'
they says, "Oh, thankee much, Sir Hinkle the Warrior,
ye've saved our lives!" But I merely shruggs an' says,
"Nay, no thanks to a Warrior merely doin' 'is duty-"
Wot's that noise? Eh? *gasp* It's Mother Brilla! Eh,
Hi Mother, pleasant evenin'! Wot was I doin', eh, jes
tellin' the Dibbuns a story. Yes'm. Yes'm. Yes'm.
Right away, mum. Th'nerve o' some badgers, sendin'
poor honest Warriors like meself t'kitchen duty when
we're jes merely tellin' the young 'uns a story 'bout
our heroic exploits! And firewood duty besides!