Athalia's Monthly Interview

Panelist: A-tha-lia NHC

Athalia: *is standing in another TV studio* Hello, I'm Athalia Nuttree Hophingham Colover. For this month's interview, we're going to do something... different... In the studio today, we have four contestants for a little contest of sorts. I have one question that I ask. Whoever gives me the best answer wins a top secret prize. Our first contestant is from Rockthing, Maine, and won't stop popping up in my interviews. Yes, it's the ever present: John Cripp.

John: Have you talked with my lawyer yet about last time?

 Athalia: Yes, and he said that we could probably--Hey, wait a sec, I'm the one asking questions!

 John: Whatever.

 Athalia: *clears throat* Here is the question for this month: Should there be humans in Redwall? John, what do you think?

 John: No.

 Athalia: ... why?

 John: Because.

 Athalia: Ok. Next we have someone from Sociopaths Anonymous. Since she'd like to remain anonymous, I can't tell you her name. Ms. Anonymous, should there be humans in Redwall?

 Anonymous: Yes, to make it more interesting.

 Athalia: How would it make it more interesting?

 Anonymous: They'd step on Redwall and crush it! MUAHAHAH!

 Athalia: Uh huh.... next we have Steven, valedictorian of his Special Resources Class. Steven, should there be humans in Redwall?

 Steven: 43.

 Athalia: ...excuse me?

 Steven: Oh, was that the wrong answer? Uhm... Black Sea.

 Athalia: Errm... I'm sorry, but you did not answer in the form of a question. Next is Ms.... uhm... ok, she doesn't have a name, so we'll just call her Ms. Paddywhack. Ms. Paddywhack, should there be humans in Redwall?

 Paddywhack: Why would we want humans in Redwall? They'd mess it all up and come up with all sorts of technology, and bombs and stuff.

 Athalia: We have a winner! That was the most profound answer we received, so... yeah, she's the winner. Your top secret prize is your very own blade of grass that I found on my shoe. Thanks to all who played! For next month, we'll do something REALLY different. You can send me in questions to use for future interviews, or even ask questions about myself (you'd kind of be interviewing me). Best questions will be featured here. Send your questions to: athalianhc@redwall.net  Thank you, and have a nice month.