A Day at the Office

Panelist: A-tha-lia NHC

Have you ever wondered what a day at the offices of TRC is like? This month, while sitting in my little cubicle and hammering out gibberish on my typewriter, I decided to tell our readers a little bit about what goes on here.

We don't always come into the office seven days a week (we're usually at the coffee/smoothie shop down the street), but whoever arrives here first has to climb up to the weathervane to get the key. When I first asked Temm about this, he said that it was to recreate Jess Squirrel's climb to find Martin the Warrior's sword. We almost had to stop doing this when a new member of the staff climbed up to the top, but was afraid of heights. When we called the fire department, they were baffled (when we told them that there was a mole on top of our weathervane). They told us to stop making such prank calls and hung up, so Greystreak had to climb up and rescue the mole, who immediately resigned. This is the main reason why we don't have many writers that are moles.

When the door is unlocked and the light switch turned on, our office is in a state of disorder. Papers, coffee cups, spiderwebs, and whatnot are strewn everywhere. (Our editor is too cheap to hire a janitor.) After we clear a path to our separate cubicles, we immediately take a coffee break in the staff room. After the coffee break, Temm either gives us our assignments or falls asleep on the futon.

Throughout the day, there is much hammering on typewriters and computers, consumption of caffeinated beverages and food, games of "pin the tail on the warrior", and random shouts of "chickenliver" and "my nose!". Whenever we can't decide on a certain idea for the next issue or our next kind of coffee, we write suggestions on pieces of paper, pin them on a big dart board, capture Matthias and blindfold him, put a dart in his paw and spin him around several times, and whatever paper the dart lands closest to is the one we use. Spoon is currently recovering from a mis-thrown dart from the other day.

By the end of the day, we're so full of caffeine that we can hardly stand up straight. The last one out of the office must climb back up to the weathervane to put the key back. When they come back down, we all go down the street for a cup of coffee.

I hope this article encourages you to join the staff. (Not really, I just have no way to end this.) It's lots of fun. (Yeah right.) Free coffee. (Bring your own and some for the rest of us.) Yeah. (Uh-huh.) Good Bye. (Adios.)