-Parenting 101 for your Redwall obsessed child-

 Panelist: Rip-pler

Clarifying abbreviations:

ROC-Redwall Online Community

OOC-Out Of Character

IC-In Character

RW-Redwall

FAQ's (Frequently Asked Questions)

-What is Redwall?

Oh dear. No wonder you are having so much trouble with your child. Let me clarify.

Redwall is the name of the abbey in which peaceful creatures live. (Yes, this is an animal fantasy, there are no humans) It is also the name of the series of Redwall Novels, written by the British author, Brian Jacques. The time is set in Medieval England, yet with no correspondence to actual geographical location. It (the Abbey) is self-sustaining, with an Abbey pond, orchards, surrounding forest, known as Mossflower woods, gatehouse, Great hall, infirmary, dormitories, cellars, kitchens, almost like a castle. The abbey does not have a religion, but simply a place where peaceful creatures can live together. Only when trouble strikes does it repel foe. They do not seek to kill. Redwall abbey is made from red sandstone.

-My daughter was trying to explain the term, "vermin". I said, "Do you mean like mice?". She marched off, very upset. What did I say wrong?

In the Redwall world, mice are not considered vermin. The term vermin, truly, is "a creature with evil intent". The vermin in the series are usually one of the following creatures:

Foxes, stoats, weasels, ferrets, rats( NOT mice), snakes, toads, Monitor lizards, pine martens, wildcats, ravens, magpies, crows, and jackdaws.

-My child mutters about someone named Martin in their sleep. Is this normal? Who is Martin?

(Define normal. heh heh j/k) Martin is the mouse who founded Redwall Abbey. He was also a famous warrior. When he died he became the guiding spirit of everyone at Redwall. As for the muttering while slumbering you would have to ask a actual Parenting counselor about that one. I would say if your child usually talks in their sleep, I wouldn't worry about it.

-My son wants a sword. I told him he can't have one because he is only 14. What should I do?

Let him have one! But whether you buy it for him or he buys it with his own money, he should take lessons on how to use his weapon. No sense in having a useless object lying about the house! Not only will he learn more about Medieval weaponry, he will also increase muscular endurance by using that heavy sword. For lessons, contact your local SCA (Society for Creative Anachronisms).

-Aren't Ferrets rodents? (ok so this isn't a frequently asked question, but its something SOME people believe and needs answering)

No. Contrary to popular belief, ferrets are not rodents. They are part of the Mustelid family. Other members of the Mustelid family are: Stoats, weasels, skunks, martens, otters, badgers, and minks. See   Ravenwolf's guide to Redwall Mustelids at  http://www.fortunecity.com/tatooine/bester/296/          

{The following was written by Dannyloin Siltcheek, complete with misspellings}

-Who is the most or best Redwall Freek?

 Well this is a commenly asked question. The "beast" that I know is the Redwallest freek is Rippler. She wrote all this and knows the answers to this. tahst is just sad! VERY sad. And who the heck even wants to know that much about ferrets? *shakes head* poor poor Redwall Freek. If u can think of anyone who is more obsessed wif redwall please e-mail me at lilclimbingmonkey@yahoo.com  "hint" hint" "nudge" "nudge" "wink" "wink" wants e-mails!

LOL

Editor's note: All comments sent to Dolbro@aol.com will be passed on to Rippler