My 2 Lousy Cents

#9

Panelist: Temm-lock

Hey yo, Tem here, what's up? Welcome, once again to My 2 Lousy Cents! Have you been enjoying the holiday season? I'm sure you have, but here's a question that might get a slightly different answer: Plastic flashlight?

So, yes, TRC is apparently back on schedule. We are still apologizing for our evilness in missing two whole issues throughout the course of the year, but all of that can be forgotten now. So what do you think I should talk about this time... Plastic flashlights? Nah. How about undercover information on a mouse illegally celebrating Christmas in Redwall?  Now that's more like it!

The following is an excerpt from the secret diary of Miderspun, a mouse of the Underground Christmas in Redwall Association (UCIRA).

Mider reporting. The UCIRA has had another successful day of operation, still completely undetected and un-heard of by the AUCIRA*. Today we discussed our plans gift giving, however 'Why don't creatures in Redwall celebrate Christmas?' is the question we continue to return to. Kosa, my friend, shared some important information with us regarding Christmas in Redwall. Last week he received a letter from the real world saying something about a bryin jack and an author and a book. We couldn't make much of the letter when he showed it to us, except more of a mystery. We wish you a merry Christmas! (haha, we win.)

*Anti-Underground-Christmas-in-Redwall-Association

end excerpt

Scary, huh? We found this diary page, inside a bottle buried in the ground near Savannah Georgia. It had probably floated in from the tide. We can only hope that nothing much will result of this association, except maybe some more free bottles floating in on the tide (I used it as a pencil holder).

So, have you ever thought of the possible catastrophic results of Christmas being celebrated in Redwall?

-Abbeybeasts being fried while trying to put lights on the bell tower

-Dibbuns choking on ornament hooks

-Elders tripping on scattered wrapping paper

-The desire for turkey and mashed potatoes, which we have established don't exist

-Santa getting stuck on the roof of the abbey, due to lack of a chimney

-The attraction of the Grinch to Redwall...(oh my)

Don't you see how dangerous it would be? Let's just hope 'bryin jack' reads this article and realizes that he's on the right track.

You know what time it is.... its time for Tem's Lousy Redwall Joke of the month!

A monitor lizard walked into a used car lot and said "Where can I get some wheeelzzz?" and the car dealer replied "Oh, we've got plenty of those! Just look around you!" The monitor looked around and nodded, saying "I will take thozee wheeeelzzz". "Which ones?" the dealer asked. "All of them!" exclaimed the lizard. The dealer jumped with delight and gave the lizard a bill immediately. The lizard grabbed the bill and ate it, saying "thank you.". Then the lizard turned and left the car lot with nothing but indigestion.

"Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Those are my initials! Ha! My name is Herbert Allen!"

Ok, so you got my article, lousy joke and all, and now its time for me to say goodbye. See ya in thirty (more or less) ((Most likely more)) (((No, definitely more))) so don't forget!

Have a nice day (metaphorically)!

Disregards,

Tem