My 2 Lousy Cents

#2

Panelist: Temm-lock

'sup, welcome once again to 2LC! The 'zine's February issue came off pretty durn well with readers (Well,  MOST readers) so we had incentive to continue this flim flam.

This month has been typical in the ROC. Newbies come and leave, sites open and close, alliances are formed and broken. I've always been amazed at how fast things happen around here.

Last month I told you guys that it would be on more of a direct topic this time. Well that's going to be sorta the case. This month's topic is going to be 'characteristics of the ROC'.

Thus,

Characteristics of the ROC.

During the early days of the Redwall Online Community, things were strictly Redwally and to the point. Somewhere along the road a few ROCers began to stray from topic and act insanely. At this point, these few were unique and popular. This was all about to change. A new crop of newbies came along and saw that it was now 'stylish' to be insane and adopted the attitude. Instantly, a whole generation of Redwall junkies was programmed with this information and took it way too far. Nowadays, insanity has become a major characteristic of the ROC. It is time to raise a new generation... one that supports insanity but does not recommend it. One that allows members to be unique and popular once again. One that will change the face of history forever.

Another characteristic is an empty sense of humor. It is considered 'cool' to not find good humor funny. If someone you know has this plague, please read this list of steps carefully.

Correcting a dead sense of humor.

1. Tell the chicken joke sixty six hundred different ways.

2. Kick subject until he or she laughs at the joke inside a box of Cracker Jack.

3. Tie subject to a chair and force him or her to watch twelve hundred back to back episodes of 'Seinfeld'. 

4. Have subject listen to 'Arms Wide Open' by Creed. (Warning: Subject may act depressed)

5. Tell subject the *cough* true *cough* story of how president dubya choked on a pretzel while standing on a couch.

6. Wait all day for the subject to laugh at the end scene of Martin the Warrior.

If you follow each one of these steps carefully and the subject is still messed up, well that was the idea. The subject's sense of humor is now not only dead, but buried. WARNING: subject may now laugh at TRC. 

Another characteristic is Ezboard.

The phenomenon of Ezboard

I find it a strange phenomenon that most of the ROC is run on Ezboard. Every time a newbie from a different online community comes, they will think this or that webmaster is a genius for having such an awesome message board. Really people, its not that hard. So how did Ezboard proliferate in the ROC so strongly? It has a little something to do with influence. Someone visits one board and thinks its cool, so they start their own etc. Let's fight back and find some new message board providers that we can take advantage of. Then everyone else will think we're sooo cool.

Alright, its time for Tem's Lousy Redwall Joke of the Month!

There are three guosim shrews in a boat. The first one says "I hate shrews. They argue, they're loud and they're obsessed with water." The second one says "So do I! They get on my nerves and they are pesky and they are so small and think they are so cool." and the third one says "Shut up, I have a headache."

LOL LOL LOL LOL...LO...L...L....O...usy....

'tis not funny. 'tis lousy.

That's all for this month's 2LC! See ya in 30 and don't forget,

Have a nice day! (Metaphorically)

Disregards,

~Tem