My 2 Lousy Cents

Panelist: Temm-lock

Yo, its Tem! Welcome to the January issue of TRC! I understand that its a pathetic issue consisting of less than half of our standard set of articles, but you can't blame me for it. Blame... the whole world! Its THEIR fault, not mine. I had nothing to do with it, I'm innocent.

Moving on.

I also understand that its a new year, 2003! Because of this, I am going to write this article about

Redwall New Years Resolutions

There are several different ways I could write this: resolutions made by Redwall characters; resolutions made by Redwall fans; resolutions made by Redwall fans that are also computer junkies. Which should I do? I'll do them all!

Resolutions made by Redwall characters:

-I resolve to kill like less vermin

-I resolve to eat less

-I resolve to stop attacking the abbot for no reason

-I resolve to kill like less good guys

-I resolve to never use magic

-I resolve to find the sword of Martin

Resolutions made by Redwall fans:

-I resolve to read more Redwall books

-I resolve to know the names of all 15 Redwall books

-I resolve to annoy at least 16 non-Redwall fans about reading Redwall

-I resolve to like Redwall more

-I resolve to, like, like Redwall more

Resolutions made by Redwall fans who are also computer junkies:

-I resolve to design 20 carbon copy Redwall sites this year.

-I resolve to bash everyone else's site and claim my site the one and only good Redwall site

-I resolve to IM every staffer of TRC and tell them how much I hate their e-zine

-I resolve to roleplay, like, better

-I resolve to stay up later than 3 AM on the computer at least three times a week

-I resolve to drink more caffeine while doing ROC activities.

There, that's that. Maybe you should consider some of the resolutions in the last category yourself. Who knows, maybe that could be the way to revolutionize your life!

You know what time it is... its time for

Tem's Lousy Redwall joke of the month! Well, here goes....

There once was a fox who lived in a box and only ate bankvoles and mice.

He often would look like a page in a book, but his face didn't look very nice.

One day the fox, who did live in a box, was out hunting for bankvoles and mice.

When he stumbled upon a quite angry man's lawn who was trying to pick all his rice.

The man chased the fox, who lived in a box, all the way to the market in town.

and that's where he stopped and his shovel he dropped, because this joke has nothing to do with Redwall except for the fact there is a fox who eats bankvoles and mice. It didn't specify that it was in the world of Redwall and, as you found out, it is not.

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Did you see what Ozzy just did?? Oh... Tem's joke? That wasn't really funny.

So now you have it. My article, lousy joke and all. I hope you enjoyed enough to continue reading the issue. If not, then you're just weird, 'cause the issues to short to not read.

See ya in thirty (more or less) so don't forget!

Have a nice day

Disregards,

Tem