My 2 Lousy Cents

#8

Panelist: Temm-lock

‘sup, this is Tem. Welcome back to My 2 Lousy Cents! First off I’d like to apologize for the two issues that got skipped in the past few months. A less significant reason for this unfortunate occurrence is because we are lazy, but the most prominent reason is my ongoing computer problems. The TRC computer often loses access to the internet for long periods of time, setting us all back. Hopefully the problems are fixed now and we’ll have a good solid year of insane issues, but that may be too much to wish for.

Anyway, this month being the Thanksgiving... month I’m going to talk about an issue that has plagued members of the Redwall Online Community for centuries (Has there even been an ROC that long? I doubt it, seeing there hasn’t been a Redwall series for that long.)……… Why are there no turkeys in Redwall?

The possible reasons:

-Brian Jacques has a phobia of turkeys. If this was the case, he only avoided them so that he would not break into a cold sweat and begin to cry.

-He forgot to write the part about the turkey in all of the books. As soon as they were published he would always sit down and say "oh no, I forgot to write the part about the turkey!".

-All the turkeys were abducted by aliens. The aliens were obsessed with Thanksgiving and ate turkey all day long.

-The turkeys were killed by a reindeer. The reindeer saw them all in different places of the land and trampled them. (I don't think this is the answer, because there aren't any reindeer in Redwall either).

-Brian Jacques has a major spelling problem and thought turkey was spelled 'mouse'.

-There were no mashed potatoes to eat with the turkey.

-The editor had a deep hatred for turkeys and took them out of the books. Why did he have a deep hatred for turkeys? When he was a child, he had a pet turkey that chewed up his socks.

-Turkeys don't exist in Redwall.

I find the first one most probable. Don't you?

Well anyway, guess what time it is!! Its time for...

Tem's lousy Redwall joke of the month!

A boatful of stoats set sail. There were seven stoats on board and they all had a cup of seaweed grog. The first stoat said "Yummy this stuff is!" and was pushed over the edge by the second, who said "I disagree". The third pushed the second over the edge, saying "The trip will be much better without you." The third was suddenly pushed over by the fourth, who said "and you too, harhar!". The fourth was pushed over by the fifth, who said "I hate ye!". At this point no one moved. The seventh said to the sixth "come on, push 'im in!" and the sixth replied "no, you do it.". The seventh pushed the fifth in. Then the sixth pushed the seventh in saying "harhar, tricked ye!". Then the boat blew up and the sixth one died.

hahahahaha!!!! hillarious, eh? no? ok.

Make sure to read the latest Redwall book, Triss, which is very nifty!

Have a nice day! (metaphorically)

Disregards,

Tem