My 2 Lousy Cents

#3

Panelist: Temm-lock

'sup'sup, welcome once again to 2LC! Are you as amazed as we are that there is actually a THIRD issue? I planned to release this tripe, have it fail, shut it down and go do something else. But I've received too many comments to do that. 

Of course, following the month-long tradition, 2LC is going to be on a specific topic. In light of April, this month's topic is 'April Fools pranks in Redwall'. The following is self explanatory and very out-of-the-ordinary. 

April Fools Pranks in Redwall

-Mattimeo fills Abbot Mordalfus' cup of strawberry cordial with alcohol.

-The creatures of Redwall leave the abbey and attack and rob a group of vermin, shouting "Its opposite day!"

-Dandin replaces Martin the Warrior's sword with a hollow plastic cheapie from the dollar store.

-Foremole digs a deep hole in the center of the dirt road leading to Redwall Abbey

-The abbey recorder writes down a whole slew of psycho things that never happened.

-A cherry bomb is lit in the badger lord's secret chamber in Salamandastron, with the purpose of triggering the bloodwrath.

-The Long Patrol hares go on a diet.

-Skipper of Otters dumps a bucket of rabid piranha into the abbey pond. 

-The Guosim agree with one another.

-Brian Jacques stops writing Redwall books.

--------------------------------

That was a list of pranks that can be played in Redwall with possible disastrous turnouts. Of course when you read this April Fools Day will be about a week ago, but I had to get something special in there for April. 

Ever wanted to scare some people? I mean.... more than you already have. Well, here's a suggestion. If you are in class and your teacher asks you when the United States entered into World War II, tell him or her "Um, wasn't that the season of the black clouds? No.... it was pearl something.... pearls of lutra, that's it!" 

Okay.... you know what time it is! Its time for Tem's Lousy Redwall Joke of the Month! Here goes...

A dog walked into a searat galley. the chief stood up and said "What do you want, dog?" The dog did not reply, but only panted. The chief asked again, "What do you want?" The dog only panted. The chief asked a third time, "What do you want?" The dog only panted. The chief asked once again "What do you want dog?" Then he thought about it. "Waitaminute, there are no dogs in Redwall!" The dog looked up and replied, "Yes there are! Remember in the first book, when Methuselah says something about a dog telling him something or whatever?" The chief looked around. "Um, oh yeah. But what do you want?" The dog panted. The chief asked again "What do you want?" This time the dog replied. "Some food, I'm starved." The chief gave him some food and he left.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha! You thought that was funny????? Hahahahaha!!!!!!! You LOSER! That was complete slime and NOT funny AT ALL!!!!!!!!! Hahaha!

Well, I guess that wraps up 2LC for this month. Make sure to send me your comments to the address listed at the bottom of the screen. If you have nothing nice to say then go complain to your goldfish. See ya' in thirty and don't forget...