15 Reasons NOT To Invite A Hare To Dinner

Guest article

By Demi & Spring Brookring

Demi: HELLOOOO!! I'm Demi Brookring and this is me jolly weird sis Spring!      
Here are some reasons why NOT to invite a hare for dinner! We advise you not to even try, but in case it happens, we tried to warn you!! (As you can see, we're otters, not hares

*little note rolls on to the screen* Caution: We warn you once more...DO NOT TRY THIS!!!!!!

1. If at someone else's house, they will never forgive you
2. If at your house, you will never forgive you
3. You will be so awestruck/horrified that you probably never eat again AAAHHHH!!!!!!!
4. The expense in damage to property (like tables,chairs,plates, etc.) will be so great that you will most likely will go broke
5. You will spend 3 months, 6 hours, 28 minutes cleaning up (washing dishes NOT included!)
6. Any children in the immediate vicinity will instantly learn bad table manners!
*Spring interupts*So that's where you learned it Demi!*Spring ducks a punch*
7. There will be absolutely no food left in the building and you will be lucky if the building is still standing
8. You will collapse from exhaustion
9. If you were horrified by dibbuns' table manners before, you will find yourself wondering how you ever could have thought that
10. If you are still reading this you are insane
11. You will probably need to deflate the hare to get him/her out the door (unless you currently have an elephant living with you and the door is wide enough anyway)
12. If you have any elderly persons with you they will be very prone to a heart attack as they watch the hare tuck it away
*Demi grins*Same with you Spring!*ducks another punch*
13. The quickest way to a hare's heart is through it's stomuch
14. If you are not already in an insane asylum the men in white coats will come and take you away after seeing  the hare eat
15. If there is a hare currently in your house preparing to eat, gather your most prized possessions and RUN FOR IT WHILE YOU STILL CAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Authors Note: If you like hares and have been mortally insulted by this article, that was the point!!! Thankyou very much if you have read this pointless piece of junk. One of the authors is sugar high at time of writing and should not be blamed for all the stupid comments but if you want to blame her, go right ahead!
One MORE Authors Note: Many spell checks were made in the process of writting this. One of the authors failed spelling and she wrote this. She was also sugar high at the time of the writting of the article*laughs insanely*